Mom – Your parents are dead! It’s like the movie “50 first dates” or “groundhog’s day” #EndALZ

Mom – Your parents are dead! It’s like the movie “50 first dates” or “groundhog’s day” #EndALZ

My Mom has to experience the death of her parents, over and over.

It’s been a rough couple weeks. We tried everything to distract and divert attention, but my Mom was fixated on seeing her parents. My Grandfather passed away before I was born and my Grandmother passed away back in the late 80s. My Mom has been asking to go see her parents every day for several weeks. I would say something like “we will go see them tomorrow” or change the subject to something different. Nothing worked! It was time to face the fact that we needed to take her to the cemetery.

As we were driving to the cemetery, Mom said that she was looking forward to seeing her Mom and Dad. We pulled into the Cemetery, Mom asked why we were going to the Cemetery and not to see her Mom and Dad. Everyone started to cry and it was like we all just experienced their death all over again! I put my hand on Mom’s shoulder and said that Grandma and Grandpa are here and they have been watching over you every day.

You have a tough choice as a caregiver! Do you tell them every time that their Mom and Dad are dead? Do you divert and distract to avoid answering the question?

I try not to lie, but do try to change the subject and/or say we will go see them tomorrow. I’m not sure what is best.

I could not imagine what it is like to experience your parent’s death over and over! I do not wish this on anyone. We have to stand up and fight this horrible disease. #EndALZ

http://www.alz.org

On twitter at @AlzandDementia

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About Richard Kenny

My Mom has Alzheimer's and I help my Dad with caregiving!
Aside | This entry was posted in Alzheimer's, Caregiver, Dementia, Family, Memory Loss and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Mom – Your parents are dead! It’s like the movie “50 first dates” or “groundhog’s day” #EndALZ

  1. I know how you feel. I have had similar situations and against the “honesty first” policy my parents engrained in me, sometimes I choose to create a story around the issue. Since your mom won’t remember they have died, maybe consider a conversation about going to visit them on a day in the future. Will she remember that? Ask about her favorite childhood memory, what she likes most about her parents … and discuss planning a trip to visit them even though you know that trip won’t occur. However, it will provide a window into your mom’s memories that will it’s own reward.

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