My mom’s Alzheimer’s / Dementia is causing a lot of stress on my dad. It’s really hard on him when my mom does not recognize him because of her Alzheimer’s / Dementia. She gets confused and thinks that she is in the wrong house. She also does not recognize my dad or knows who I am sometimes. She thinks that she works in the house for my dad and that she is not married and has no kids. She also thinks that her parents are still alive.
He wants to do everything for her and make it okay, but I think it may break him.
Today, I encouraged my dad to leave for an hour and go to the golf course and hit a bucket of balls. This is the first time he has left to do something for himself. It was very hard for my dad to leave the house without my mom. When he was getting ready to leave; my mom was not sure who he was, why she was here and who I was.
I’m happy he still went to the driving range, but it was really difficult for my mother and me. I know the first priority is the caregiver’s health, but it is so hard not to put my mother first.
After about an hour of trying to distract/divert my mothers attention, she calmed down, but she still was unsure who we were and why she was in this house. She really want her husband and could not understand why he was not here. When he came home; she was happy to see him, but could not figure out why he was gone.
I know this is the new normal and I’m trying to get used to it. I have to start getting my dad a break every day to keep him strong for my mother and for his health too. I’m trying to go out once a day, but sometimes it’s not easy.
I went out last night to play volleyball with some friends. My dad called me an hour later and asked me to come home because my mom was confused and would not go in the house. I was able to get her calmed down, and my parents came out to watch us play volleyball for an hour. The rest of the night she seemed okay.
I wish there was a book of tips and tricks for how to calm my mother down when she is confused. I’m learning new ways to distract and/or divert her attention, but sometimes it does not work. It seems like every day/event requires something different.
Any tips would be welcomed!!
I visit the Alzheimer’s website to learn more about Alzheimer’s, Dementia and being a Caregiver. They have a lot of resources at http://www.alz.org, but sometimes it does not seem to help our current need. I need to do a better job of calling the Alzheimer’s hotline at the Alzheimer’s Association when I need help!!! Why am I so stubborn and want to figure it out on my own?